May races, crossfit, mindset changes, and other words that form sentences...

Ok, so it’s been a long time coming and I’ve had a lot on my mind since my last post. Since I have three races to talk about and a few other things, I’m just making one BIG post. So buckle up.

A lot has happened and all of it has been the exact opposite of what I wanted and expected. NOLA was supposed to be my big coming out party to show I can go fast. No lie, I wanted and expected 4:30. I still think it’s in me somewhere. However, I went to that race so naive about nutrition. I hit the swim a bit slower than I wanted but with the chop and weird course I didn't consider it a miss. I nailed the bike 100% according to plan. I mean the most spot on execution ever. However, I only took in about 600-700 calories in the 2 and ½ hours I was out there. So I was in the town of bonksville 1 mile into the run. At the time I kicked myself and thought I rode too hard. Since then, and with the help of my friend Robert Flannigan, I have learned that I was running on fumes coming off the bike. I've changed my nutrition since, taking in roughly 400-500 calories an hour now. My bike has literally improved by minutes at all distances. Funny how well your body operates when it’s fueled.

On top of learning my nutrition needs I also introduced crossfit into my routine. Now I know most of my tri friends want to hang me for this. Honestly I've been met with borderline hostility over it which is quite sad really. The saying “don’t knock it til you try it” actually makes sense to me now. It seems we as humans hate one thing or another out of pure ignorance. So for those that have attacked. I’m sorry you feel that way. But look at the top in just about any sport. They lift weights. Why? To get stronger, more fit, and balanced. I need challenges and crossfit has provided that. It’s something new and different every workout. I get bored easily so tri training is often hard for me to stay focused on. My main goal was to get core strength. I have a bad back and need the core strength to keep it strong. But it has turned out to be so much more. My bike gains have been impacted by the strength in my legs. I’m having a blast on my bike right now actually. I've got my nutrition dialed, I have a better fit on my new bike, my legs are much stronger, and I feel strong even after the hardest rides. My back is doing better and gets irritated less and less on my runs. Which I will gladly take. Anytime my foot isn't going numb it’s a good day.

This month I had three races, Rev3 Knoxville Olympic, Cedars of Lebanon Sprint, and Memphis in May Olympic. I have had a rough go the last two years in Knoxville and this year I finally felt like I was in the right spot to actually compete. But this lovely season just kept getting worse. Knoxville was a complete wash, literally. All week the forecast said rain and temps in the 50s. Each day the chance of rain went up. By the time the weekend arrived the forecast had a 100% chance of rain. To add to the excitement I got sick the night before the race. Something I ate did not sit well. I ended up throwing up until my abs were sore and went to bed still not filling right. I was either going to wake up and be sick or wake up and have to deal with the weather. When I woke up I felt ok so I stayed the course. The water temp was 52 degrees and the air was about 55. We had a torrential downpour the entire time. Knoxville’s bike course is hilly and has several technical descents. I knew in this weather there was just no way to attack the bike. I threw podium and race goals out. I decided to just stay calm in the water, survive the bike, and then just make the best of the run. The swim went well. I swam my typical time but was frozen. When I mounted my bike I kicked my rear bottle and snapped the zip ties on the cage. I couldn't afford to lose the bottle so I had to pull a Faris and stuff it in my shorts. I tried to not get discouraged but within a mile or two I was miserable. When I reached the 10 mile mark I was devastated. I still had roughly 15 miles left and I had already been on the bike for 30 minutes. By the time the bike was over my knees were blue, I could barely operate the breaks any longer, and my feet were long gone. I didn't even bother with a flying dismount. I was afraid I would just fall. Once on the run, I was finally able to relax and let the stress go. I couldn't feel my feet at all. I could feel the shock go up my legs but nothing from mid shin and down. Very strange sensation, or lack thereof. I ended up running a PR which was no shock. I had taken the bike so easy that it was basically a warm up for the run.

So now I had missed my goal to qualify for Vegas and I hadn't done much to put myself in a good position for Rev3’s championship race. It was at this point that a lot of doubt began to creep in. It was a reality check. At the beginning of May I finally let go of the last thought that I could be a pro one day. I then let go of the thought that I’m elite. It was tough to swallow. The last two years I've told myself I was both. Kind of naive though. My results are far from both. Once I let those go things got better. But at the same time I kind of let go of wanting to train. I had no clear goal now, and sense I didn't consider myself elite anymore I didn't feel the need to prove myself to anyone either. Which is probably why I never wrote race reports. Who cares what a random age grouper has to say about their race anyway. This was all three weeks ago.

Last weekend I raced twice. I wanted to defend my title at the Cedars of Lebanon sprint tri, which sounds better than it actually is. It’s a beginner tri. But I figured it would be fun and I wanted to see what I could do on the bike. Well as the race approached sure enough it was rainy again. More bad luck. It’s a super short race so no problem. Race morning arrived and luckily the rain had passed. I rode the course before the race to check the corners since the roads were slick. It was sketchy in one spot so I knew I could push the bike as planned. This swim is in a pool which usually means traffic problems for those in the back. I was 13^th into the water. Lucky 13 right? Wrong? On the third lap of 4 I ran into a three wide traffic jam. They were swimming so slow that I stood up and walked a few steps behind them trying to figure out if I could jump over them or swim under them. I couldn’t do either so I just breast stroked and waited for the wall 25 meters away. That cost me a lot time, and the win, we’ll get to that later. Once I got around the sandbaggers (sandbagger = someone who lies about their swim time to get to the front, just to get run over by those that do not lie about their times) I pushed the last 50 meters to try and make up for the lost time. I passed a few there. Then passed a handful of others in transition. I came out on the bike in third. The first person crashed on the first sketchy turn. So I was the second person on the course now. I rode like a maniac to catch the guy in front. It took me 4 miles of the 4.7 mile loop to catch him. I think my first lap was an avg of 290 watts which is about 15 watts above threshold. I wanted to win so there was no waiting. I had to lay it out there. The bad thing was my legs were fried but I kept pushing. He ended up catching me 2 miles later. I re passed him another 2 miles later about .3 from transition. I came into transition and had one of my best dismounts ever. Unfortunately, I guess it was too fast. I got penalized for dismounting too fast or something stupid like that. I’m not actually sure of the correct terminology. I got onto the run and my calves were twitching like crazy. The result of riding above threshold for 10 miles. The guy caught me and stayed about 20 seconds in front of me the rest of the run. In the end he beat me for the overall win by….2 SECONDS!! Thanks to the sandbaggers I knew where those two seconds were. I raced as hard as I could so I 100% blame them for the 2 seconds. At awards, expecting to be called for 2^nd overall, I was surprised with the 3^rd place spot and the penalty. It was confusing for everyone at the moment because none of us knew about it. Disappointed in Team Magic for that. If a penalty affects your overall podium how about you let them know ahead of time? Well needless to say I was embarrassed and wanted to be off the podium ASAP. I tried to talk to the ref but she talked to me like a 5 year old and since there was no need to lose my cool. I just left.

Kayla and I headed to Tunica that afternoon since I was racing Memphis in May the next day. I had let the penalty fiasco go a few hours after luckily. We got o Tunica got my bike checked in and met some friends for dinner. By now it was 7pm and I hadn’t relaxed yet. Unfortunately my awesome luck continued. Kayla’s class had given her a cold that week and it finally caught up to me. I can’t resist my wife. So will gladly kiss her even if I know it will get me sick. I probably could have fended it off until after the weekend had I not exerted so much at the race that morning. So I spent Saturday night tossing and turning with cold sweats and body aches. When I woke up for the race I did not feel right. I really didn’t want to race. I knew it was going to be hot and I was not fresh so I knew my run would be awful. I also had the strangest feeling like something bad was going to happen. Like a final destination type feeling. It was very strange and kept me in a funk right until I jumped in the water. I was so distracted that I never even stretched or warmed up. I jumped in the water completely tight and cold. Well 25 minutes later, my slowest swim yet, I exited the water and surprisingly felt much better. I jumped on the bike and went to town. I had been told that the first half would be into headwind and the second half would be all tailwind. No problem. I had also planned to ride 230 watts. But for whatever reason 240 felt better. I figured why not, my run is doomed no matter what I do. Well sure enough I got to the tailwind section and it was like being shot out of a cannon. I was number 577 and I was catching people with numbers in the 100s and even a few under 100. We started with number 1 and sent one person every 3 seconds. So I started the swim with 576 people ahead of me. I averaged 27.xx mph the last half of the bike and came off in 1:03 which was a 6 minute PR for me. Then it was time to “run”. Somehow I screwed my watch up right out of transition and ended multisport. So when I restarted it all it would tell me was my HR and pace. No distance, no lap splits, nothing lol. I made it the first mile before the walks started. At about mile 2 a guy caught me and said I should just run with him because he was catching me every time I stopped. Made sense to me and my goal of 2:10 was long gone. I decided it had been a solid weekend and I would help him out now. I broke the wind when I could and pushed him when he wanted to stop. It actually made mile 2 to 5.5 much easier than my method would have been. At ½ a mile to go I noticed number 576 creep by me and decided I would have to dump my running partner to fight for an AG spot. 576 looked strong so I pulled my top back down, zipped up, and got in race mode. I dropped the hammer for about .2 of mile and looked over my shoulder. 576 hadn’t decided to run with me and I had about a 30 second lead on him and wasn’t far from the finish so I just stayed on the gas to finish strong. Overall I was happy. My overall time was a PR and I was still excited about my bike split even though my swim was awful and my run was a typical easy run on any other day. Thanks my last ½ mile I found myself in 5^th in my AG and they were giving awards 5 deep. Cool. Two races, two podiums, two paper weight awards. Not being sarcastic or ungrateful. Both awards that weekend for paper weights lol.

I spent last week trying to figure out where to go from here. Ironman Vegas is out and I’m not even going to waste my time chasing it. I had to be honest with myself. My only option to try and qualify was Muncie in the middle of July and I have not raced well in the heat the last three seasons. What about a full at Cedar point and half at Charleston? Not enough time to recover for a race after my first full. Scratch that too. So I finally decided to do Cedar Point half and Charleston half. I figure I have to be top 5 at both for a chance at the Rev3 championship race in 2014. These set up well for me since they are later in the year and will be cooler than June July and August races. Might as well aim towards my strength instead of kidding myself. I’ll race a local race in July and two in August as tune ups then hope to finally get that elusive sub 5 hr 70.3. The three months gives me time to sort out things in my head and get back on track. Plus go to Jamaica for our anniversary which is far more exciting than any races!!

The only thing I have to do now is figure out how to train and race for me and only me. I can’t stay motivated when I feel like I’m doing it to appease people. For that reason I decided to go without coaching. I was getting too stressed and was running just because I had a coach and not because I wanted to. I know some runs suck and you just have to do it regardless. But every run shouldn’t cause stress. So I’m going to do my own thing the rest of the season and try to get back the joy of it. I’m very thankful for my coach and all he did for me and I know I’ve learned a lot. I see that in the results that Kayla has had. I “coach” her and I use what I’ve learned from Scott. So I’m hopeful I can fend for myself for the rest of the season.

I’ve said a lot and maybe it means something to you, maybe it doesn’t. For me things didn’t go as planned. So I’ve had to drop back, refocus and draw a new road map. We’ll see if it gets me to where I want to go. Who knows. I’m not too worried about it anymore. For me it’s a new season. Call it 2013 v2.0 I guess.