January Whole30

Kayla and I decided to do the Whole30. Now that Liam is nearly a year old and eating table food it was time for us to learn better eating habits so that he doesn't grow up eating junk. We both aren't where we want to be as far as shape and we both eat bad. This is where a good blogger would tell you about whole30. That is not me, so you can check it out here. (www.whole30.com)

Basically you have to be really strict for 30 days, no sugar, bread, or dairy. This is going to be rough but I need it. 

I'm going to attempt to give my thoughts on each day to show the entire journey. And to have it as a reference should I choose to do it more than once.

Day 1. So What's the Big Deal

Pretty simple since my body doesn't actually realize what has begun. I've had my usual cravings for sweets post lunch but that's about it. It's easy not to give in on day 1. I expect that will get difficult as the week progresses. I didn't drink coffee this morning since my only choice is to drink it black. I'm partly convinced I drink coffee out of habit and not to wake up. We'll see how tomorrow goes with that.

As far as food goes I haven't really started out great. We didn't food prep despite the program's strong advice to do so. That left me winging it on day one. I had 4 scrambled eggs with some added onion salt for flavor and two pieces of Turkey bacon. Which we now know does not meet W30 standards. It says 0g of sugar on the back but in the ingredients it has "maple sugar". FAIL. It tasted soooooo good. But we want to follow this to the letter and not make any exceptions.

Lunch was bad. I had two precooked chicken breast and a can of chunk white tuna. I had a banana, a palm full of walnuts and palm full of pecans between breakfast and lunch. I had an apple about 2 hours after lunch. All these things comply but as you can see, I've had 0 veggies so far. I'll correct that tonight and mix it up better tomorrow.

After spending an hour and a half at the VTG I came home to the best smelling house ever. We had a crock pot meal, which was our first ever. Chicken, broccoli, and red potatoes. So at least I ended the day with a better line up.

I definitely learned that meal prep is going to be key and that I need to aim to have a veggie at every meal so I don't get stuck trying to make up ground during dinner.

Day 2. The Hangover
Yup, there it is. 4:30 am my FitBit starts buzzing and I'm clueless as to why this little black band had decided to wake me. 4:38, it's buzzing again!. Ok I'm up! Day 2 is always rough during any lifestyle change. I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm hungry.

Breakfast was much better though. Scrambled eggs with chicken, sliced bell peppers, and kale. Some Grapes and of course bacon. A new brand that is compliant too!

Since I fell asleep in the parking lot when I got to work I decided to try black coffee. It was terrible as expected. I had to have a banana in between breakfast and lunch.

For lunch I had a lettuce wrap with sliced peppers and taco seasoned chicken. Also had a carrot. Which is good for me. This held me over for about 2 hours. So I a can of tuna with olive oil which was pretty tasty.

I hit the gym again which was rough. I didn't have much energy but I got it in.

Dinner was on me. I had prepped some burgers the night before. Organic beef with red pepper, garlic powder, and onion salt. I also roasted some green beans in olive oil, garlic powder, onion salt and taco seasoning. Can you tell I have a flavor I like? The burgers were on point with some added diced bell pepper with lettuce. The green beans tasted like fries!! Day 2 was great.

Day 3. The Hangover continues

I haven't had that hangover headache yet but I did feel just a hint of one starting after arriving at work. I went with the same breakfast as yesterday as well. Eggs are going to get old but that's ok.

Lunch was a salad, with peppers and carrots, herb infused olive oil as a dressing. It was fantastic!

Dinner was a rotisseree chicken, yes the whole chicken. Well I had half and Kayla had half. We did roasted green beans again and roasted cauliflower. I used a garlic infused olive oil, onion salt, and taco seasoning.

All in all day 3 was the best so far. I wasn't starving going into lunch and I wasn't starving after lunch. I had banana and pecans in between breakfast and lunch and I had an apple and can of tuna a few hours after lunch before heading to the gym.

The gym was still kind of rough but I did feel like I had more energy that yesterday.

I've survived the hangover stage with no ill effect. Unless of course it hits tomorrow. But tomorrow is day 4 and that's "Kill all the things" day.

May races, crossfit, mindset changes, and other words that form sentences...

Ok, so it’s been a long time coming and I’ve had a lot on my mind since my last post. Since I have three races to talk about and a few other things, I’m just making one BIG post. So buckle up.

A lot has happened and all of it has been the exact opposite of what I wanted and expected. NOLA was supposed to be my big coming out party to show I can go fast. No lie, I wanted and expected 4:30. I still think it’s in me somewhere. However, I went to that race so naive about nutrition. I hit the swim a bit slower than I wanted but with the chop and weird course I didn't consider it a miss. I nailed the bike 100% according to plan. I mean the most spot on execution ever. However, I only took in about 600-700 calories in the 2 and ½ hours I was out there. So I was in the town of bonksville 1 mile into the run. At the time I kicked myself and thought I rode too hard. Since then, and with the help of my friend Robert Flannigan, I have learned that I was running on fumes coming off the bike. I've changed my nutrition since, taking in roughly 400-500 calories an hour now. My bike has literally improved by minutes at all distances. Funny how well your body operates when it’s fueled.

On top of learning my nutrition needs I also introduced crossfit into my routine. Now I know most of my tri friends want to hang me for this. Honestly I've been met with borderline hostility over it which is quite sad really. The saying “don’t knock it til you try it” actually makes sense to me now. It seems we as humans hate one thing or another out of pure ignorance. So for those that have attacked. I’m sorry you feel that way. But look at the top in just about any sport. They lift weights. Why? To get stronger, more fit, and balanced. I need challenges and crossfit has provided that. It’s something new and different every workout. I get bored easily so tri training is often hard for me to stay focused on. My main goal was to get core strength. I have a bad back and need the core strength to keep it strong. But it has turned out to be so much more. My bike gains have been impacted by the strength in my legs. I’m having a blast on my bike right now actually. I've got my nutrition dialed, I have a better fit on my new bike, my legs are much stronger, and I feel strong even after the hardest rides. My back is doing better and gets irritated less and less on my runs. Which I will gladly take. Anytime my foot isn't going numb it’s a good day.

This month I had three races, Rev3 Knoxville Olympic, Cedars of Lebanon Sprint, and Memphis in May Olympic. I have had a rough go the last two years in Knoxville and this year I finally felt like I was in the right spot to actually compete. But this lovely season just kept getting worse. Knoxville was a complete wash, literally. All week the forecast said rain and temps in the 50s. Each day the chance of rain went up. By the time the weekend arrived the forecast had a 100% chance of rain. To add to the excitement I got sick the night before the race. Something I ate did not sit well. I ended up throwing up until my abs were sore and went to bed still not filling right. I was either going to wake up and be sick or wake up and have to deal with the weather. When I woke up I felt ok so I stayed the course. The water temp was 52 degrees and the air was about 55. We had a torrential downpour the entire time. Knoxville’s bike course is hilly and has several technical descents. I knew in this weather there was just no way to attack the bike. I threw podium and race goals out. I decided to just stay calm in the water, survive the bike, and then just make the best of the run. The swim went well. I swam my typical time but was frozen. When I mounted my bike I kicked my rear bottle and snapped the zip ties on the cage. I couldn't afford to lose the bottle so I had to pull a Faris and stuff it in my shorts. I tried to not get discouraged but within a mile or two I was miserable. When I reached the 10 mile mark I was devastated. I still had roughly 15 miles left and I had already been on the bike for 30 minutes. By the time the bike was over my knees were blue, I could barely operate the breaks any longer, and my feet were long gone. I didn't even bother with a flying dismount. I was afraid I would just fall. Once on the run, I was finally able to relax and let the stress go. I couldn't feel my feet at all. I could feel the shock go up my legs but nothing from mid shin and down. Very strange sensation, or lack thereof. I ended up running a PR which was no shock. I had taken the bike so easy that it was basically a warm up for the run.

So now I had missed my goal to qualify for Vegas and I hadn't done much to put myself in a good position for Rev3’s championship race. It was at this point that a lot of doubt began to creep in. It was a reality check. At the beginning of May I finally let go of the last thought that I could be a pro one day. I then let go of the thought that I’m elite. It was tough to swallow. The last two years I've told myself I was both. Kind of naive though. My results are far from both. Once I let those go things got better. But at the same time I kind of let go of wanting to train. I had no clear goal now, and sense I didn't consider myself elite anymore I didn't feel the need to prove myself to anyone either. Which is probably why I never wrote race reports. Who cares what a random age grouper has to say about their race anyway. This was all three weeks ago.

Last weekend I raced twice. I wanted to defend my title at the Cedars of Lebanon sprint tri, which sounds better than it actually is. It’s a beginner tri. But I figured it would be fun and I wanted to see what I could do on the bike. Well as the race approached sure enough it was rainy again. More bad luck. It’s a super short race so no problem. Race morning arrived and luckily the rain had passed. I rode the course before the race to check the corners since the roads were slick. It was sketchy in one spot so I knew I could push the bike as planned. This swim is in a pool which usually means traffic problems for those in the back. I was 13^th into the water. Lucky 13 right? Wrong? On the third lap of 4 I ran into a three wide traffic jam. They were swimming so slow that I stood up and walked a few steps behind them trying to figure out if I could jump over them or swim under them. I couldn’t do either so I just breast stroked and waited for the wall 25 meters away. That cost me a lot time, and the win, we’ll get to that later. Once I got around the sandbaggers (sandbagger = someone who lies about their swim time to get to the front, just to get run over by those that do not lie about their times) I pushed the last 50 meters to try and make up for the lost time. I passed a few there. Then passed a handful of others in transition. I came out on the bike in third. The first person crashed on the first sketchy turn. So I was the second person on the course now. I rode like a maniac to catch the guy in front. It took me 4 miles of the 4.7 mile loop to catch him. I think my first lap was an avg of 290 watts which is about 15 watts above threshold. I wanted to win so there was no waiting. I had to lay it out there. The bad thing was my legs were fried but I kept pushing. He ended up catching me 2 miles later. I re passed him another 2 miles later about .3 from transition. I came into transition and had one of my best dismounts ever. Unfortunately, I guess it was too fast. I got penalized for dismounting too fast or something stupid like that. I’m not actually sure of the correct terminology. I got onto the run and my calves were twitching like crazy. The result of riding above threshold for 10 miles. The guy caught me and stayed about 20 seconds in front of me the rest of the run. In the end he beat me for the overall win by….2 SECONDS!! Thanks to the sandbaggers I knew where those two seconds were. I raced as hard as I could so I 100% blame them for the 2 seconds. At awards, expecting to be called for 2^nd overall, I was surprised with the 3^rd place spot and the penalty. It was confusing for everyone at the moment because none of us knew about it. Disappointed in Team Magic for that. If a penalty affects your overall podium how about you let them know ahead of time? Well needless to say I was embarrassed and wanted to be off the podium ASAP. I tried to talk to the ref but she talked to me like a 5 year old and since there was no need to lose my cool. I just left.

Kayla and I headed to Tunica that afternoon since I was racing Memphis in May the next day. I had let the penalty fiasco go a few hours after luckily. We got o Tunica got my bike checked in and met some friends for dinner. By now it was 7pm and I hadn’t relaxed yet. Unfortunately my awesome luck continued. Kayla’s class had given her a cold that week and it finally caught up to me. I can’t resist my wife. So will gladly kiss her even if I know it will get me sick. I probably could have fended it off until after the weekend had I not exerted so much at the race that morning. So I spent Saturday night tossing and turning with cold sweats and body aches. When I woke up for the race I did not feel right. I really didn’t want to race. I knew it was going to be hot and I was not fresh so I knew my run would be awful. I also had the strangest feeling like something bad was going to happen. Like a final destination type feeling. It was very strange and kept me in a funk right until I jumped in the water. I was so distracted that I never even stretched or warmed up. I jumped in the water completely tight and cold. Well 25 minutes later, my slowest swim yet, I exited the water and surprisingly felt much better. I jumped on the bike and went to town. I had been told that the first half would be into headwind and the second half would be all tailwind. No problem. I had also planned to ride 230 watts. But for whatever reason 240 felt better. I figured why not, my run is doomed no matter what I do. Well sure enough I got to the tailwind section and it was like being shot out of a cannon. I was number 577 and I was catching people with numbers in the 100s and even a few under 100. We started with number 1 and sent one person every 3 seconds. So I started the swim with 576 people ahead of me. I averaged 27.xx mph the last half of the bike and came off in 1:03 which was a 6 minute PR for me. Then it was time to “run”. Somehow I screwed my watch up right out of transition and ended multisport. So when I restarted it all it would tell me was my HR and pace. No distance, no lap splits, nothing lol. I made it the first mile before the walks started. At about mile 2 a guy caught me and said I should just run with him because he was catching me every time I stopped. Made sense to me and my goal of 2:10 was long gone. I decided it had been a solid weekend and I would help him out now. I broke the wind when I could and pushed him when he wanted to stop. It actually made mile 2 to 5.5 much easier than my method would have been. At ½ a mile to go I noticed number 576 creep by me and decided I would have to dump my running partner to fight for an AG spot. 576 looked strong so I pulled my top back down, zipped up, and got in race mode. I dropped the hammer for about .2 of mile and looked over my shoulder. 576 hadn’t decided to run with me and I had about a 30 second lead on him and wasn’t far from the finish so I just stayed on the gas to finish strong. Overall I was happy. My overall time was a PR and I was still excited about my bike split even though my swim was awful and my run was a typical easy run on any other day. Thanks my last ½ mile I found myself in 5^th in my AG and they were giving awards 5 deep. Cool. Two races, two podiums, two paper weight awards. Not being sarcastic or ungrateful. Both awards that weekend for paper weights lol.

I spent last week trying to figure out where to go from here. Ironman Vegas is out and I’m not even going to waste my time chasing it. I had to be honest with myself. My only option to try and qualify was Muncie in the middle of July and I have not raced well in the heat the last three seasons. What about a full at Cedar point and half at Charleston? Not enough time to recover for a race after my first full. Scratch that too. So I finally decided to do Cedar Point half and Charleston half. I figure I have to be top 5 at both for a chance at the Rev3 championship race in 2014. These set up well for me since they are later in the year and will be cooler than June July and August races. Might as well aim towards my strength instead of kidding myself. I’ll race a local race in July and two in August as tune ups then hope to finally get that elusive sub 5 hr 70.3. The three months gives me time to sort out things in my head and get back on track. Plus go to Jamaica for our anniversary which is far more exciting than any races!!

The only thing I have to do now is figure out how to train and race for me and only me. I can’t stay motivated when I feel like I’m doing it to appease people. For that reason I decided to go without coaching. I was getting too stressed and was running just because I had a coach and not because I wanted to. I know some runs suck and you just have to do it regardless. But every run shouldn’t cause stress. So I’m going to do my own thing the rest of the season and try to get back the joy of it. I’m very thankful for my coach and all he did for me and I know I’ve learned a lot. I see that in the results that Kayla has had. I “coach” her and I use what I’ve learned from Scott. So I’m hopeful I can fend for myself for the rest of the season.

I’ve said a lot and maybe it means something to you, maybe it doesn’t. For me things didn’t go as planned. So I’ve had to drop back, refocus and draw a new road map. We’ll see if it gets me to where I want to go. Who knows. I’m not too worried about it anymore. For me it’s a new season. Call it 2013 v2.0 I guess.

The Big Let Down

Spoiler alert. I’m just spitting my thoughts out on this one and they are mostly negative. If anything this will be a vent report, not a race report. Fill free to stop reading if you want to see the type of report I usually write.

This past weekend I took part in my third 70.3 and second Ironman brand race. I say took part because I can’t even call it racing. I’m going to keep this short though. I thought by all indicators that I was capable of 4:30-4:40 on this flat course. I was thinking a 30 swim, sub 2:30 bike, and 1:29-1:32 run. I was fully prepared to go to roll down and get a Vegas slot just like ALL my other teammates. Then I woke up and realized I’m not good enough for that. I must train in a state of delusion where I think I’m faster than I really am. Forget Vegas slots and being fast. I should just focus on breaking 5 hours at this point. I don’t belong at a World Championship event after what I did yesterday. To give you perspective. I have trained and prepared for this race since November, mostly uninterrupted and no injuries. I was two minutes slower than my PR from last year when my training was a joke and I was taking the race easy as a warm up for Leadman. So 6 months of much more focused training, including power, and I have 0 progress to show for it. Devastated and embarrassed are the two words to describe how I feel right now. Embarrassed that I was so confident I would have a Vegas slot. I was embarrassed knowing people were watching me on the tracker yesterday. I was embarrassed to have such an awesome kit full of sponsor logos on, knowing that I was just making them look bad.

Yesterday’s race in comparison to my best splits from my other two 70.3s. It’s very fun to train hard and not make improvements.

Swim 34:37       (PR 33:24 2012)

Bike 2:32:40      (PR 2:29:01 2011)

Mess 1:58:05    (PR 1:43:13 2012)

The swim was protected this year so there was no chance of it being canceled. It was a pretty goofy set up and I’m pretty sure none of us actually knew where we were going. There was a little bit of chop and the temp was perfect at 62 degrees. No warm up though. I did my best to stretch my arms and did arm circles to kind of loosen them up. Me and my Wattie teammate Travis Thomason started together and even though I lost sight of him soon after we ended up finishing about 15 seconds apart. It started out good I thought. I haven’t swam open water since last year but I’m comfortable in the water so that wasn’t the issue. Somehow I lulled myself to sleep and was swimming way slower than I thought. I remember thinking several times that my turnover was slow, but my arms were burning so I thought I was pulling strongly. At 1000 yards my watch beeped and I rolled over quickly to see my split. 17:34!!! So much for 4:30. I tried to pick it up and felt like I swam much harder the second half but popped out and saw 34 instead of 30. 4 minutes off of goal time.

Transition 1 was 2:39, so now I was 7 minutes off of goal time.

The bike went well even though my split was not what I wanted. We were beat to death by a steady head wind/ cross wind with big gust for the first 25 miles. Then we got to ride that tail wind for the most part until the end. There were a few sections where we had cross wind on an out and back before jumping back into the tail wind. My goal here was 220 watts or 80% of max. Seemed perfectly doable but clearly I’m stupid and don’t know anything. I stayed in my range in the wind and ignored my speed which ranged from 16-20 mph. I figured with the wind this stiff that I would have a big negative split and could make up for it. When I finally got to turn around I still stayed in my range and avg’d 22-30 mph. I had two 5 mile sections where my split was 11:52 and 11:56 or 25.x mph avg. That was cool. Around mile 50 I started doing the math and realized that unless I stayed over 25 mph I was not going to break 2:30 or hit 2:30. The last few miles were on a crappy road and not a pure tail wind so I was only averaging 22-24 mph. When I finished I looked down and saw a total time of 3:09 on my watch. Awesome now 9 minutes off of goal time. The bike felt good and never felt like I was doing too much. I haven’t looked at the data yet but I don’t think I had any spikes accept for a bridge or two where we had short climbs. Looking back I would guess that I needed to ride about 20 watts less to have been able to run ok.

Transition 2 was 1 :32, so now I was 10:30 minutes of my goal time and outside of my goal range. I knew I didn’t have the run to be able to get back any lost time either.

The first mile of the run I did in 7:05. It didn’t feel bad but it didn’t feel great either. My heart rate was over 180, it was hot and there was a big bridge to climb. By 1.3 into it I was walking through the first aid station. I probably ran a few minutes at a time for the next three miles. I was miserable. My legs felt fine but my heart rate was going through the roof so fast every time I started to run. I was running my normal easy/ medium pace too. at one point I looked over at the city which looked like it was 100 miles away and tried to decide if I wanted to walk back to transition or just suffer to the end. I don’t remember most of the middle miles. I was stopping so much and was so hot and miserable that I couldn’t think about much other than how embarrassing it was going to be when my splits showed up. When I saw the first timing mat I really wanted to go around it. I wanted to be anywhere but on the race course. By mile 6 I realized that I wasn’t even going to get under 5 hours. So much was going through my head. I gave up at that point. I felt stupid for every time I had uttered the word Vegas, I felt stupid for having set up my own facebook page, for having a nick name, for even having this blog. I felt like an imposter. Like an undeserved MOP/BOP participant that had snuck onto an elite team. I felt exposed as a fraud. I was completely crushed. I usually have a strong heart and will. But it was completely broken and taken yesterday. I took my watch off and stuck it in my pocket. There was no need to look at it anymore. I stopped and started 100,000 times from mile 6 to 10. I saw one guy after the next in my age group go by. I lost 100 spots on the run. Around 10 I started to feel better but now after all the water and perform my stomach was knotting up after a few minutes of running. My legs felt good, which they should have, I hadn’t really run since the first mile. My heart rate was under control I assumed. I started trying to fight back. Maybe I could hit 5 hours, maybe I could beat my PR of 5:07. Maybe I could find something to salvage. I think I went almost a full mile without stopping around mile 10.5-12 before my stomach and diaphragm really started to rebel. With about .75 to go I pulled my watch back out and saw that I had about 4 minutes to finish to PR. On a normal day that would have been fine. However, that was not the case. I would push and my stomach would tie itself in knots. I could see the finish area. It was right there. I always tell Kayla not to walk in the last mile. It’s just one mile! Pretty sure I walked every couple hundred yards. With about .2 to go I managed to resist the urge to walk and get to the line. The line was as empty as the 13 miles had been. There was nothing to celebrate, there was nothing new accomplished. It was just empty. I was just left with a sunburned body and a medal that I just put in my pocket. I didn’t deserve to wear it. The announcer was saying something about my kit and the showing that Wattie Ink was having and all I wanted to do was cover myself and disappear so nobody would see me.

I’ve had bad races before. I missed goals before. But to come up over 30 minutes short of what I expected and to fall apart so badly. To not fight. It just leaves me empty. I had an 8 hour drive to think about it too. Replaying the race over and over and over. I was the only Wattie that didn’t succeed Sunday. The others showed why they were on the team. Something I could not do. This one hurts. This one cuts really deep. This is the most mental and emotional damage I’ve ever taken from an athletic event. I’m lost now. I don’t know where to look or what to do. I have a race in two weeks and honestly I’m scared to even go.

Thank you to those who have been trying to encourage me.  

Double the Pleasure, Double the Fun!

This weekend I raced a 15k road race and a sprint tri. The plan, a few months ago, was to use the 15k as a training day to run NOLA pace, and the sprint tri to get the rust off. I think I forgot how competitive I am and that there is no half effort racing in me. So let's get to it.

Saturday: Special Kids 15k

The weather forecast for this weekend was awful. I spent so much time distracted on the weather for the tri that I hardly thought about the 15k. I didn't know of any big names that were running it and honestly I haven't figured out who to look for in my new age group. On race morning I felt pretty good. I've never run a 15k though so I wasn't sure about pacing or game plan. I decided to run half marathon pace for the first 7 and pick up the pace the last two. That means going out controlled and getting in the zone. Instead I ran 5k pace for the first 1.5, half marathon pace for the next 6.5, then sub 5k pace for the last 1.3...NAILED IT lol. I got too caught up at the beginning. I was sitting in 7th after the first 1/4 of a mile and we were strung out about 30s to a minute apart for the rest of the race. I had no idea of the course so I wasn't ready for the constant rolling hills. I was thinking it was a pancake flat course. Oh well. At mile two I could tell 6th place couldn't keep up with his buddy anymore and he was starting to move backwards. I eventually caught him just after mile 4. 4-7 was pretty uneventful. I got choked up at one of the race markers at mile seven though. This race goes to benefit an organization that works with mentally and physically challenged kids, and at each marker there was a picture of one of the children. I was starting to hurt at this point and I just decided to suck it up and run with those kids in mind. They'll never be able to run a race like this and I wasn't going to "quit" on them. That got me to mile 8 and now I was ready to cruise in and save my legs for the tri. BUT!! A guy caught me at 8 and said "You must have been training, you've gotten faster. It took me longer than I thought to catch you". Well so much for cruising in. This guy thought he was going to just go by me! My new goal was to break him. I know I'm strong and I know my legs can be punished as long as my HR doesn't get into the 190s. I had about 12bpm to work with at this point. I ran right beside him for 1/2 a mile. We were going up a slight incline and I decided to surge on him the second we topped the incline. Luckily coach puts these types of pick ups in a lot of my runs. So I'm used to dropping the hammer and then settling back in. Anyway, I surged for about 10 seconds and got back in the groove. I waited until I heard the foot steps get close and then I surged again for another 10 seconds and waited again for him to close the gap. As soon as he was close I surged for a third time. At this point the effort level was setting in but I knew I could still close. I was at 8.75 and decided to wait until 9 to make any more moves. I could hear the foot steps getting closer but he was not closing as fast as he had been. I hit mile 9 and started to pick it up. It was a slight incline back to the finish and I wanted to avoid sprinting because I could tell I was about shot. With 2 tenths of a mile to go I started to dry heave. "come on hold it down, don't let him catch you". I peaked back and could tell he was not going to catch me. I continued to dry heave and right as I crossed the line I shot off into the grass to throw up. It's been a long time since I've pushed like that so I was pretty happy with the effort. I ended the day with 6th overall and 1st in my age group.

That's a 5k finisher in case you are wondering

I make dumb faces when I get awards, I'm not sure why

Sunday: ADPI Sprint Triathlon

I woke up and checked the weather immediately. RAIN and 47 degrees!! ugh. I was sore but not too bad. I figured a solid bike would wreck me and I'd be walking the 5k run. I was not looking forward to being freezing cold but whatever, it was the first tri of the season. It would be about near impossible for me to turn down racing.

The race is a sprint with a 300 meter swim, 11 mile bike, and 5k run. Accept like always they have no idea how to measure the run course so it ended up being 2.5.

I think I jumped in the water 5th and I passed two people and was passed once in the swim. I kept it pretty chill. I could tell my quads were heavy so I didn't really want to push too hard with my kick. I wore my new Blueseventy Nero goggles and they are SICK!! They are hands down my all time favorite goggle now. Out of all the goggles I've ever warn.

I got out of the pool and headed out the door and was met by the frigid cold! Ok it wasn't frigid if you were dry, but it was if you were wet. My feet were pretty frozen by the time I got to my bike. I had planned to wear my Wattie Ink bike jacket and some gloves. BUT my jacket got stuck on my wet arm and I immediately threw it to the side. I threw the gloves down as well and said screw it, I'll go without any layers.

You can see all my crap I threw to the side when I abandoned the layers plan

I rode the bike course on Saturday so I would know what to expect. Last years disasters with the course and police led to a drastic overall of race management and a new bike course to make it safer. The first 5 miles had three fairly decent climbs and then it was mostly a gradual decline back to transition. With the rain and wet roads I knew the corners would be sketchy but the rest should be the same as on a dry road. I could see two bikers up in front of me and honestly I had no clue they were the only two. I passed the first biker about 1.5 miles in and went to chasing the first guy. He stayed away until mile 9 ish when I finally made my pass. I was hammering has hard as I thought I could and still be able to run somewhat. My legs didn't feel too bad on the bike and I felt like I was doing pretty good at not destroying them completely. With a mile to go I started taking inventory of my hands and feet. The new course was nice enough to have 6 or 7 speed humps and 5-6 deep water puddles in the last tenth of a mile so I knew I needed to have good hand function. Well my forearms and hands were completely frozen. I mean I felt like my fingers were stuck. As we went over each bump I was nervous if my hands would even stay on the bars. I ended up barely getting my feet out of my shoes and dismounting before the line. Upon dismounting I found out my feet were completely numb as well. My first few steps were actually funky and I had to look down to make sure I was even running correctly.

T2 was pretty funny. My hands were useless and I could barely unbuckle my helmet. I ended up taking my helmet off with my forearms. Next I had to put my K-Swiss K-Ruuz 1.5s on. As I tried to use the rigamortis type fingers I had, I had to chuckle. I got my shoes on and was out of transition. The guy I had passed on the bike got out of transition just a second or two ahead of me.

Talking about how numb we were on our way out onto the run course

As we started the run I was actually amazed that my legs actually felt good. Shocking really. They didn't even feel heavy from the ride. The guy I was running with fell off the pace immediately saying his calves were cramping. So I was in the "lead" now. Obviously with a time trial start I had no idea if I was truly leading. First mile came and went and I was still shocked. I was running pretty strongly and felt pretty good. Mile two had one out and back and I could tell the guy with calf issues had recovered. "crap!! I do not want to get pushed again". Then I saw the third guy and he was flying! Not sure where he came from but he must have started way back on the swim. He turned out to be the overall winner. We rounded the corner and had about .75 left to go. I still felt strong but I had no more gears. It was this pace and nothing more. With 2 tenths left the guy with calf issues caught me. we ran side by side and he started picking it up with about 40 ft to go. I started to go with him and just didn't have it in me. I figured since he started right behind me in the swim he had to beat me by 5 seconds to actually beat me. I think I crossed the line about 3 seconds after him. Now looking back I wished I had just sucked it up and sprinted with him. It was just 30ft at the most but I was starting to dry heave and just didn't have the mental toughness left to push myself to the brink again! I ended up with another 6th overall and 1st in my age group.

Right at the finish. No kick left.

Another award and another dumb face. It's a sickness I think.

All in all it was a fun weekend but I don't think I'll be doubling again unless I can take one race easy and not compete. Kind of cool to be 6th overall and 1st in my age group in both races. I'm really happy with my fitness after this weekend and I hope I've made some new mental gains for Ironman NOLA.

Big thanks to all the Wattie Ink sponsors that helped get me through this weekend, ISM, PowerBar, and K-Swiss

Finally, thank you to my wonderful wife Kayla!! She always supports me weather she is standing is freezing cold or blistering heat. I don't think I would have nearly as much fun if she wasn't with me at the races. She rocked a new 5k PR yesterday which honestly I was more excited about than my own race. Love being a running family!!

Thanks for the read. Next up Ironman New Orleans 70.3!!

Pre-season Stir Craziness

It's that point in the year where most of us haven't raced in 4-5 months. We have been training in cold weather or on trainers staring at the floor or wall. December and January had tons of good training then February hits. Training is good but you are getting sick of training and not racing. You have lower patience, are easily irritated, and all you want to do is scream. Never fear, for most of us March brings the first race. So just a few more weeks of logging hour after hour day after day and we can all let loose and go hunt for some podiums!!

My preseason has been a little busy. I like to race road races during the winter which I think may be a blessing and a curse. It's nice because I get to keep the competive side from getting too dull. It's bad because I force myself to be in the mental race zone nearly year round. This year I have an "A" race 13.1 in March then it's full on tri season. It's been a bit tough to get back into my routines all while increasing run volume to go for a PR. I really want to get to that 1:25 mark.

I also changed my diet about 6 weeks ago. I changed to a gluten free and partially dairy free diet. The gluten because I was curious and the dairy because I have an alergy and always feel better when I avoid it. It took about 3 weeks to get all my old cravings out. Now I feel like I'm used to it and I like it. I've lost about 6-7 pounds and I feel great.

So that's three pointless paragraphs and I leave you with one question. Are you ready to get this season started or what!?!?!?

ps. I added a schedule and results tab because I was feeling fancy.

Rock the W volume 2

I'm super pumped to be back with Wattie Ink for the 2013 season as a part of the Wattie Ink Elite Team. Last year was a whirlwind of awesome. I had a few results go south as I tried to figure out how to race in the Tennessee heat and I had a few results surprise me. But one thing was constant. I always felt great in my Wattie gear. The kit always got compliments and drew many questions. You see here in the south triathlon just isn't that big. So to be on a team like this that hails predominantly from Cali has me explaining the kit a lot. "No it's not a tattoo shop","No it's not a printing company"...those were my most common. At least people around here know the products of our sponsors (Blueseventy, ISM, Kask Helmets, Speedfil, Fuelbelt) so I didn't have to explain them. This season Powerbar and 454 Tattoo have joined us as well. I can imagine that with 454 on the kit it's really gonna confuse these southerners.

My Memphis buddy Damie made the cover.

So what to expect in 2013. Well simply put...more W!! The team jumped from about 40 to 100 strong. The new kids are super pumped and will be a great addition. With the expansion comes more exposure on the East side of the map. Not sure where yet but Wattie has an east coast team race planned which will be awesome!!! He already nabbed a 3 year deal with Wildflower for the west coasters. The man has no limits. Details if you click the pic below.

Finally, I leave you with race goals. Last year I didn't have any goals, at least not clear ones. So my training wasn't the smartest and I raced a little too much. With no goals I had no purpose. I'm not making that mistake this season. I want to go to the Vegas World Championship 70.3 race. That's it. That's all I'm training for right now. Yes, it's only December but I'm back at it now. My first race is the Ironman New Orleans 70.3 in April. It's the only race I'm thinking of at this time. I have to qualify for Vegas and since I'll be in the 30-34 AG I'm thinking I'll have to be able to go sub 4:30. Honestly that is huge for me. My PR is 5:07 and I've only done two 70.3s. However, I think it's doable because of that little thing I mentioned above, FOCUS. I'm swimming smart, I'm riding much smarter than ever before, and my run looks to be on target to make a 4-5 minute improvement. I'm looking forward to April and hoping that my 4th season is magical. After April I'll relax and race here and there but nothing serious until Vegas. 

Hope this hasn't been a bad read for you. It's a bit early and I tend to write fast and think slow. Happy training and Happy Holidays!!

"Stay stubborn, don't quit" - my road id

LeadmanTri Epic 250 - A Deep Dark Place of Victory and Perserverence!

It's been a week since the Leadman race and I still can't quite believe that I finished it. Even as I sit here looking down at the belt buckle that I earned I'm still not sure it was real or a dream. This will be hard to write as I went through so many highs and lows during the race. I litterally went to the point of failure and still came out a victor. This won't be my normal race recap. It's just too much to remember. The swim was so beautiful. Two laps in Cultus lake in 58 degree water with 44 degree air temps and it was simply amazing. The water so crisp and clear. It was a relaxing swim and much faster than I had anticpated, swim data. The bike was an epic journey all on it's own. It started great, had some rough spots, almost ended, then was amazing again. The views were breath taking. You just don't get these kinds of views in Tennessee. The run was very challenging but so fun at the same time. I was lucky to make it to the run. I'll explain.

As athletes we love motivational quotes and mantras. Any groupset of words that will give you the motivation and extra push you need when the going gets tough. For me it was a tweet my brother posted the day before the race and a hash tag that saved my race. "#proudbrother" I can't type it without tearing up. Just as I teared up on the side of the road when I thought my day was over.

So what happened? Well somewhere around  mile 106 of the bike, which was somewhere in the range of 6-7 hours of total race time for me at that point, I hit the wall. I mean everything shut down. I was getting ready to climb Mt Bachleor for the second time and it all came crashing down. My heart rate went up, I was short of breath and weak, and mentally I was done. I pulled off the side of the road sat down and pulled my helmet off. I sat there thinking of what it was going to be like to give up. How was my team going to think of me. At this point we had already lost three other guys due to flats and bad course markings. Chirs Masilon was probably still going for all I knew but I had heard he was hurting. Which looking back. WE ALL WERE!! So I could be the only Wattie left to finish for all I knew. I sat there thinking of Kayla. I wanted to see her I wanted to hear her say to get back up. But instead I sat in silence somewhere on a mountain road completely defeated. Soon some officials on a motorcycle showed up, as well as another racer who was a doctor, and then just a passer by in an suv. The doc noted my paleness but said my pulse felt strong. The biker officals let me know that the guy in the suv would take me back to town. "Is this it!? Is this how I'm going out!?" I looked up the mountain which now looked so much taller and steeper. I thought of the struggle it was to climb it the first time around mile 60. Then I looked deep into myself. I was searching for any part of me to agree to get back up. I was digging and digging deeper and deeper and all I found was silence and darkness. Then out of the back of my mind in my brothers voice I heard "#proudbrother". Just like that there was a spark inside. As the guys were telling me I needed to make a choice. I stood up. I put my helmet back on. and I said "I'm going to try to get to the top". Every move I made brought more energy and life back to my bones. They let me know there was one more aid station up ahead. I said I would stop if I didn't feel right. But I had no intention of stopping. I didn't fly across the country to quit. I didn't train through burnout to catch a ride back to town. and I didn't grown such a massive man beard to not cross the fnish line. At this point it wasn't about a buckle. It wasn't even about finishing. My race conisted of the 10-15 miles left to get to the top of Mt Bachelor. I knew if I could get to the top then I could finish. I could coast the last 16 miles back down the mountain into town and I could walk 13 miles if I had to. So they wished me luck and I clipped in and started pedaling. I don't know how long it took and I don't even know how hard it was. I just looked at the white line and pedaled. I didn't look at my computer or up the hill to see how much was left. I just looked at the white line. Eventually I passed the doctor. She said "you're back!!". I said I found a second wind. As I rounded the last corner and saw the road start to level out I thought I had reached the false flat right before the final pitch. But when I looked up I was shocked to see that it was the top. I had made it. I felt alive again. I told myself I would cross that line! I reflected on the race thus far on the ride back into town. How I had come so close to never finishing! I thanked God for the friends praying for me, for my wife, and of course for that tweet. here is my bike data. The doctor lady later saw me at the finish line. She was so excited I had finished.

When I got off the bike I had been racing for about 9 hours and 21 minutes. I had spent 8 hours and 5 minutes on the bike!! I had literally been to hell and back. I had been knocked down lower than ever, but still got back up. This race will be a defning moment in my life. It was more than a race. It was a testament to the human spirit that defies to be broken. That the will within really can move mountains. and that through HIM all things are possible, Philipians 4:13.

I ended up run walking the 13 miles in 2:03. I joked with everyone at the aid stations. I smiled and was amazed by the beauty of the world around me. I surprisingly ran the first and last mile in 8:02 and 8:01 and all the miles in between were all over the place. Here is my run data. Around mile 6 another guy in my age group went by me at his mile 4. He yelled out to go get the buckle. I told him I had missed that window a long time ago. He said the cut off had been extended to 12 hours. I had 7 miles to go and 90 minutes to spare to make that cut off. That was just the spark I needed to put a little pep in my step. I did some rough math and figured as long as I didn't die or go slower than 12 minute miles I would make it. Around mile 10 my legs came back to life. I was running between 7:30-8 pace but still was stopping at any up hill or aid station. When I rounded the last corner and saw the line I was so happy. My team was there waiting. All I could do when I crossed was let out a big celebratory scream and smile some more. It was awesome to have Heather Jackson come up to me and congratulate me, then Wattie, then the team. Chris Masilon had finished about 15 mintues before, wearing an awesome speedo!! He is my tri idol lol. Maybe because he is the beards #1 fan. So to be the two lone Wattie finishers and proud buckle earners was pretty awesome.

Sean got this pic of me acting a fool after finishing

 Me and Chris at dinner two nights before the race. Finally united!

The bling. Yes it's ridiculous looking. But what it means so much to me.

"earned with guts, warn with pride"

 Pre race ride with the team

An epic shot that Paul Lieto got of me!

The thrill of finishing!

11 hours and 31 minutes. There are so many other things you can do in that time. So many things that are more fun and easy. But I'll never trade what I learned and what I found on the inside in those 11 hours and 31 minutes. I found a fire. I found strength. I found a warrior.

So with that I end my 2012 season. It's the end of my 25-29 AG "career" as well. Next year I return with a new passion and get to battle the 30-34 AG. I'll be a bit wiser, a bit more prepared, stronger and faster. But I'll have a secret weapon. Leadman will be with me. No race has ever been close to dealing out the punishment that Leadman did. If that didn't break me, then what will? Perhaps Vegas will get to take a shot at me. That is where I turn my focus to now. I want to race with a purpose and I want to race and train smart. No more of this racing every month sometimes twice a month with no breaks. No more of this bring my "A" game for 9 months straight. No more training constantly just so I can brag about how many miles I swam biked or ran in a month. I'm going to build for IM 70.3 New Orleans and take a shot at earning a Vegas spot. Then I'm going to shut it down. Then I'll ramp back up for IM 70.3 Steelhead for a second shot at Vegas if NOLA falls through, or I'll ramp up for the Vegas 70.3 World Championship!! If I miss at NOLA and Steelhead then I will be unleashing a war on IM Augusta to take a shot at Vegas 2014.

Finally, thank you so much to all my Wattie Ink sponsors. Without you this season just wouldn't have been the same. Thank you to Sean Watkins for the amazing experience. I look forward to next season and to growing the market in the south. Thank you to my teammates this season for everything. I look up to each of you in one way or another. Thank you x 100 to Peter and Tina Leavitt for your hospitality and support in Bend and the entire season. Thank you to my friends here in Tennessee who put up with my posting and triathlon talk and to my training partners who share the road and water with me. Most of all thank you to my beautiful wife Kayla. She is my rock and partner. She gives me strength and inspires me everyday. I love you so much babe!!

"STAY STUBBORN DON'T QUIT" - my road id