LeadmanTri Epic 250 - A Deep Dark Place of Victory and Perserverence!

It's been a week since the Leadman race and I still can't quite believe that I finished it. Even as I sit here looking down at the belt buckle that I earned I'm still not sure it was real or a dream. This will be hard to write as I went through so many highs and lows during the race. I litterally went to the point of failure and still came out a victor. This won't be my normal race recap. It's just too much to remember. The swim was so beautiful. Two laps in Cultus lake in 58 degree water with 44 degree air temps and it was simply amazing. The water so crisp and clear. It was a relaxing swim and much faster than I had anticpated, swim data. The bike was an epic journey all on it's own. It started great, had some rough spots, almost ended, then was amazing again. The views were breath taking. You just don't get these kinds of views in Tennessee. The run was very challenging but so fun at the same time. I was lucky to make it to the run. I'll explain.

As athletes we love motivational quotes and mantras. Any groupset of words that will give you the motivation and extra push you need when the going gets tough. For me it was a tweet my brother posted the day before the race and a hash tag that saved my race. "#proudbrother" I can't type it without tearing up. Just as I teared up on the side of the road when I thought my day was over.

So what happened? Well somewhere around  mile 106 of the bike, which was somewhere in the range of 6-7 hours of total race time for me at that point, I hit the wall. I mean everything shut down. I was getting ready to climb Mt Bachleor for the second time and it all came crashing down. My heart rate went up, I was short of breath and weak, and mentally I was done. I pulled off the side of the road sat down and pulled my helmet off. I sat there thinking of what it was going to be like to give up. How was my team going to think of me. At this point we had already lost three other guys due to flats and bad course markings. Chirs Masilon was probably still going for all I knew but I had heard he was hurting. Which looking back. WE ALL WERE!! So I could be the only Wattie left to finish for all I knew. I sat there thinking of Kayla. I wanted to see her I wanted to hear her say to get back up. But instead I sat in silence somewhere on a mountain road completely defeated. Soon some officials on a motorcycle showed up, as well as another racer who was a doctor, and then just a passer by in an suv. The doc noted my paleness but said my pulse felt strong. The biker officals let me know that the guy in the suv would take me back to town. "Is this it!? Is this how I'm going out!?" I looked up the mountain which now looked so much taller and steeper. I thought of the struggle it was to climb it the first time around mile 60. Then I looked deep into myself. I was searching for any part of me to agree to get back up. I was digging and digging deeper and deeper and all I found was silence and darkness. Then out of the back of my mind in my brothers voice I heard "#proudbrother". Just like that there was a spark inside. As the guys were telling me I needed to make a choice. I stood up. I put my helmet back on. and I said "I'm going to try to get to the top". Every move I made brought more energy and life back to my bones. They let me know there was one more aid station up ahead. I said I would stop if I didn't feel right. But I had no intention of stopping. I didn't fly across the country to quit. I didn't train through burnout to catch a ride back to town. and I didn't grown such a massive man beard to not cross the fnish line. At this point it wasn't about a buckle. It wasn't even about finishing. My race conisted of the 10-15 miles left to get to the top of Mt Bachelor. I knew if I could get to the top then I could finish. I could coast the last 16 miles back down the mountain into town and I could walk 13 miles if I had to. So they wished me luck and I clipped in and started pedaling. I don't know how long it took and I don't even know how hard it was. I just looked at the white line and pedaled. I didn't look at my computer or up the hill to see how much was left. I just looked at the white line. Eventually I passed the doctor. She said "you're back!!". I said I found a second wind. As I rounded the last corner and saw the road start to level out I thought I had reached the false flat right before the final pitch. But when I looked up I was shocked to see that it was the top. I had made it. I felt alive again. I told myself I would cross that line! I reflected on the race thus far on the ride back into town. How I had come so close to never finishing! I thanked God for the friends praying for me, for my wife, and of course for that tweet. here is my bike data. The doctor lady later saw me at the finish line. She was so excited I had finished.

When I got off the bike I had been racing for about 9 hours and 21 minutes. I had spent 8 hours and 5 minutes on the bike!! I had literally been to hell and back. I had been knocked down lower than ever, but still got back up. This race will be a defning moment in my life. It was more than a race. It was a testament to the human spirit that defies to be broken. That the will within really can move mountains. and that through HIM all things are possible, Philipians 4:13.

I ended up run walking the 13 miles in 2:03. I joked with everyone at the aid stations. I smiled and was amazed by the beauty of the world around me. I surprisingly ran the first and last mile in 8:02 and 8:01 and all the miles in between were all over the place. Here is my run data. Around mile 6 another guy in my age group went by me at his mile 4. He yelled out to go get the buckle. I told him I had missed that window a long time ago. He said the cut off had been extended to 12 hours. I had 7 miles to go and 90 minutes to spare to make that cut off. That was just the spark I needed to put a little pep in my step. I did some rough math and figured as long as I didn't die or go slower than 12 minute miles I would make it. Around mile 10 my legs came back to life. I was running between 7:30-8 pace but still was stopping at any up hill or aid station. When I rounded the last corner and saw the line I was so happy. My team was there waiting. All I could do when I crossed was let out a big celebratory scream and smile some more. It was awesome to have Heather Jackson come up to me and congratulate me, then Wattie, then the team. Chris Masilon had finished about 15 mintues before, wearing an awesome speedo!! He is my tri idol lol. Maybe because he is the beards #1 fan. So to be the two lone Wattie finishers and proud buckle earners was pretty awesome.

Sean got this pic of me acting a fool after finishing

 Me and Chris at dinner two nights before the race. Finally united!

The bling. Yes it's ridiculous looking. But what it means so much to me.

"earned with guts, warn with pride"

 Pre race ride with the team

An epic shot that Paul Lieto got of me!

The thrill of finishing!

11 hours and 31 minutes. There are so many other things you can do in that time. So many things that are more fun and easy. But I'll never trade what I learned and what I found on the inside in those 11 hours and 31 minutes. I found a fire. I found strength. I found a warrior.

So with that I end my 2012 season. It's the end of my 25-29 AG "career" as well. Next year I return with a new passion and get to battle the 30-34 AG. I'll be a bit wiser, a bit more prepared, stronger and faster. But I'll have a secret weapon. Leadman will be with me. No race has ever been close to dealing out the punishment that Leadman did. If that didn't break me, then what will? Perhaps Vegas will get to take a shot at me. That is where I turn my focus to now. I want to race with a purpose and I want to race and train smart. No more of this racing every month sometimes twice a month with no breaks. No more of this bring my "A" game for 9 months straight. No more training constantly just so I can brag about how many miles I swam biked or ran in a month. I'm going to build for IM 70.3 New Orleans and take a shot at earning a Vegas spot. Then I'm going to shut it down. Then I'll ramp back up for IM 70.3 Steelhead for a second shot at Vegas if NOLA falls through, or I'll ramp up for the Vegas 70.3 World Championship!! If I miss at NOLA and Steelhead then I will be unleashing a war on IM Augusta to take a shot at Vegas 2014.

Finally, thank you so much to all my Wattie Ink sponsors. Without you this season just wouldn't have been the same. Thank you to Sean Watkins for the amazing experience. I look forward to next season and to growing the market in the south. Thank you to my teammates this season for everything. I look up to each of you in one way or another. Thank you x 100 to Peter and Tina Leavitt for your hospitality and support in Bend and the entire season. Thank you to my friends here in Tennessee who put up with my posting and triathlon talk and to my training partners who share the road and water with me. Most of all thank you to my beautiful wife Kayla. She is my rock and partner. She gives me strength and inspires me everyday. I love you so much babe!!

"STAY STUBBORN DON'T QUIT" - my road id