Well it's time for another blog entry...turns out I'm not so good at keep up with this.
I now have two weeks until my first marathon. Am I excited? To be honest not really. I've been somewhat spoiled the last few months with my running results. I have had several new personal records set and a few very strong finishes. However, I'm going into this marathon knowing that I'm not going to have a time worth bragging about. It will be more of a weekend warrior worthy performance. My training just did not go very well when it came to the long runs. I had two 20+ mile runs on my schedule. The first that I completed was a disaster at best. Yes I did the distance but it was full of so many stops and starts in the last 6 miles that I barely even count it as a 20 mile run. The second run was supposed to be 22 miles...I managed to log 18.2 of that. Same story, just a flat out disaster of a run. So I'm going to go to Memphis to compete in a distance that I know I can't even complete at this point in time. Will I walk across the finish line? Yes, but it could take 3 1/2 hours or it could take 5 hours. Either way I'm going to fall short of what I thought I would be able to do. People have said just go and have fun. That's hard for me to do when I perform far below what I know I can do. Unfortunately it's going to be exactly what I'm forced to do. I can't shoot for a decent pace because history tells me that at mile 15-17 my legs will start on a rapid decline which will ultimately leave me wondering why the F am I even out there.
This is why I'm glad that I chose St. Jude. First of all it's flat. I did all my long runs on the Country Music Marathon course in Nashville which has some mean hills. So maybe that will extend my breaking point out to 17-19 miles not having the hills to run. Second it's ultimately for the kids at St Judes in Memphis. Kids who face a much harder battle than a marathon. Kids who will more than likely never leave the hospital bed they are confined to. They'll be what I think about when I reach my breaking point. If they can look cancer and eventually death in the face with a smile each and everyday then I can suffer through the last miles of a marathon.
This will be an experience like none other for me. A time to reflect on the year I have had in sport and the year I've had just in life in general. Sport has been all ups while life has been mostly downs. This will be a time to look forward to the future. This next year will say a lot about the rest of my career and if it will continue or not. This next year is full of high goals and I will have to work harder than ever to get there. I set the bar high this past season but I fully intend to take it to the next level in 2011. This marathon will also take me to a new level of pain and really test my will to continue. It's in the depths of darkness that you learn who you are and what you are made of. Do you have what it takes to rise out and push through? Can you mentally keep your body moving when it tells you it can't take another step? I can say that barring being hit by a truck, I can push through. I have a fighters spirit and heart, that I know I will have to rely on.
I would like to thank everyone who has helped me prepare for this and for those of you who have been an encouragement. If you have swam, biked, or run with me I really appreciate it. If you have encouraged me, especially in the past weeks when I just haven't mentally been where I should, then I am truly grateful for your words. Often times I train alone and race alone. I have my parents who come to races when they can and I have friends that I've raced with a few times. I have to say that I'm jealous of those who have people hold signs for them or have a big group waiting at the finish line but I always look forward to the support I get on facebook and twitter.
Finally, I would like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. No this is not a cliche music award speech. He has given me the abilities and talent that I have in sport, the same abilities that I can take for granted sometimes. (Thanks for pointing that out Joseph) He is the one that gives me the strength to continue and the will to succeed. He fuels my passion to beat my body up most days of the week. He has put each and every one of you who support me in sport or life in my life for a reason. I'm naturally a loner. I do things alone and fight my battles silently, for the most part. It wasn't till this year that I accepted training partners or took to heart advice given. I'm still learning how to let other come along side of me.
"Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Chris Jesus" Phillipians 3:13-14
